Forgetting names happens to everyone
When you have known someone for over 9 years, you would assume that they wouldn’t forget your name, right? Not necessarily. I have a friend I’m close to whose home I have spent time in, and she has also spent time in mine. We have shared meals, played games and even holidayed together. One day we were at a gathering, and she called me Mavis.
I get it - Mable is close to Mavis. She was embarrassed. She made every effort to salvage the situation by sharing a story of when her husband called her by a name that doesn’t even resemble hers in the slightest. Her way of handling her husband’s lapse was to call him by a different name also and made it a quick and fun way of correcting her husband.
My husband and I are friends with the owners of one of our favourite stores in town. One day the owner of the store, I’ll call him “Jim,” suddenly decided my name was Gladys. As soon as he saw me, he beamed and said, “Hello Gladys, and how are you today?” I smiled and looked at my husband and asked him if there was something he needed to confess to. Jim went beet red and was very apologetic. It has since become our little joke, and whenever he calls me Mable, I retort and remind him that my name is Gladys. Humour can make an awkward situation easy to handle.
Dorothea Johnson, an authority on etiquette, relates a time when she and her husband were at a formal event and were approached by a couple she had met earlier. She started to introduce her husband: “Mary and Bob Roland, I’d like to introduce my husband … (blank) ” She couldn’t remember her husband’s name. She whispered to him, “What’s your name?” He glared at her and said, “I’m your husband.” To which she replied, “Yes, I know that but what’s your name?” Dorothea goes on to share that the couple started laughing, and Mary said, “There have been times when I couldn’t even remember my own name, let alone my husband’s.” Mary’s quick thinking made the situation bearable for Dorothea.
I have been in situations when I forgo introductions because I have forgotten someone’s name. If I’m with my daughter, she always catches on to this and, as soon as we are away from the person, without fail will say, “You forgot their name, didn’t you?” I’m often tempted to say, “Actually, it is your name I temporarily forgot.” It is not unusual, in these situations, that as soon as I walk away from the person, I remember their name. It’s almost as though my memory plays tricks on me.
Forgetting names does not necessarily mean that we do not care about other people. Sometimes our minds just have an overload. When we find ourselves in this kind of predicament, it is okay to admit that we cannot remember a name by saying: “I know we have met before. Unfortunately, I just can’t recall your name at this moment.” Most people are not offended by this and do not mind repeating their names to us again. In such moments I purposely try to use their name a few times in the conversation; this way, it sticks to my memory. We should not avoid someone just because we have momentarily forgotten his or her name. After all, it happens to the best of us, even the ones closest to us.
