RE-IMAGINING MOTHER'S DAY
How does Mother’s Day look different as mothers and their children go through different seasons of life? This is a question I have been asking myself as I have pondered about this year’s Mother’s Day.
When children are still young, Mother’s Day is an exciting celebration for them, as they typically love presenting their mothers with homemade gifts consisting of lovely pictures and sometimes touching letters. Some may even beg their fathers to help them prepare a delicious breakfast for their mothers.
As they get older, some may realize that they enjoy outdoor activities such as shopping. This may prompt them to pick up a special gift for their mothers. They may also take their mothers for a day of shopping while creating memories.
The college stage is usually a turning point in celebrations. If children have moved away from home, they may be unable to spend the day with their mothers, and resort to a video call and sending a gift in the mail. The inevitable sense of adventure at this stage of life may reflect the children’s engagement in their schoolwork, time with friends and other activities, resulting in less elaborate celebrations than in previous years.
Fast forward to when children become parents themselves and start focusing on their young families. At this stage, those who become mothers are celebrated by their own children. For a while, they may no longer be available for the in-depth celebrations of years past, and may simply acknowledge their mothers with a quick phone call and a card, or a small thoughtful gift.
A child’s observance of Mother’s Day may shift depending on their stage in life; however, it does not necessarily reflect how they feel about their mother. As life gets busier, especially compared to previous generations, many adult children lack the time and resources to have a big celebration for their mother, and a celebration of any nature is worth acknowledging.
So how is a mother to deal with all these changes?
As mothers, we can decide how we wish Mother’s Day to look for us. We can spend the day in gratitude for the times we have spent with our children, and the memories we will make with them in the future. If we take a moment to be grateful that our children made us mothers, and for the experiences we had as a result, we will appreciate Mother’s Day without any expectations. Mother’s Day can be a time for us to reflect on our journey through motherhood and acknowledge what we have done well, and how we would like to continue this journey.
In asking ourselves some questions we might get a different insight into motherhood.
Have we set up our children for a successful future?
Have we been a positive influence in their lives?
At this stage, are we still able to show up for them as we did when they were young, recognizing our evolving role?
As mothers, we can also be an influence for good at any stage of our children’s lives by;
Offering them support without any expectations
Celebrating their achievements as they follow their intended paths
Offering a listening ear without any judgment.
My mother used to emphasise that her job was primarily to prepare us, her children, to be able to function independently in the world. I’m forever grateful for that preparation as I can navigate the world around me with ease, recognising that setbacks are a part of the adventure, and finding comfort in the love and security that she gave me when she was still on this earth.
As I reflect on Mother’s Day now, I realise that this is the legacy I want to have with my own children. A part of that legacy is in celebrating my journey of motherhood and all the experiences I have had along the way.
This Mother’s Day, let us be thankful for the gift of being a mother. Let us take time to celebrate ourselves and resolve to continue to be the best mothers possible. We can continue to enjoy the evolving relationships with our children, embracing the daily interactions we have with them rather than focusing on just one day. Reflecting on our experiences with them will fill our hearts with joy, and surely fill us with anticipation for more sweet memories to come. Happy Mother’s Day!
